We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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