apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize