oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
