im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize