operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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