We're facebook friends in real life
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
