Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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