My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
