i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
