hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
