I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
