Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
