wanna go halves on a baby?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
