entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
