oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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