Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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