the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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