i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
how does that bad decision feel?
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