dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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