I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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