1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
