great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
