Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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