I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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