I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
