You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
