It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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