I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
