having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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