I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
