she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize