You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
