she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
