He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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