you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
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SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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