Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
