Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
