I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Who wears a wallet chain?!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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