i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
