Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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