Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
