I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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