well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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