I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
