Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
