woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
