Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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