I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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