none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
