i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
