if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
