My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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