I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
