You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
