no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
