carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
where am i from again
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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