I bet he comes in French.
I think I am morally bankrupt
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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