I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
