At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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