but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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