She said her name was "party"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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